I know that we have all heard it before and sometimes even said it ourselves, “there is a right way and a wrong way to come to the United States.”  However one thing that we have not heard is that when people are willing to jeopardize their safety and die in route to a better life, then it’s time we listen.  It’s difficult to imagine what life can be like in a different country. We complain and gripe that life is tough here, but that is life as we know it. What about life in a different country? If we sometimes think we have it tough, how do people in a different country have it?

            Illegal immigrants have been adding to the population in the United States for many years. They have to eat and shop therefore it is fair to say that they have also been adding to our economy. A myth is that illegal immigrants are stealing jobs that American can have, however illegal immigrants are not stealing jobs from anyone. Another myth is that illegal immigrants are robbing Americans of Food Stamps and Welfare, but how can they get Food Stamps and Welfare if they have no social security number.  Then we hear ridicule that the quote “wetbacks” have a better life than Americans AND THAT COMMENT comes from people unwilling to do anything with their life but complain, criticize, and growl as they collect their monthly checks and Food Stamps.

            The United States is founded on immigrants from all over the world.  My grandmother and grandfather on my mother's side came to the United States from Mexico and worked very hard plus never took any opportunities away from anyone. To me a World Without Borders would be awesome because then no passports would be necessary to travel. Passports are expensive!  
            It’s a shame that we have become a civilization where SOME people are paranoid of immigrants because they fear immigrants are taking something from them; an American deadbeat who refuses to do anything for themselves UNTIL they see a scapegoat (illegal immigrant) for their troubles and obstacles of becoming the next Donald Trump. The United States is a country where if an individual aspires to do better, then get ready for obstacles and challenges and begin the journey to a better life.

            I'm taking a class at school, wrote a paper and decided to share my paper with you. The topic for this week’s reading response is spanking.  The spanking reading reminds me of all the cases of bullying that have increased in the United States.  I had not associated spanking with bullying until reading chapter 10 and was surprised to read that spanking can actually contribute to kids being bullies. Therefore I decided to dive right into this topic like a big piece of warm apple pie with ice cream melting all over it.

            While parents and caretakers look for the quick remedy to a child’s misbehavior the future consequences are not thought about.  I don’t think people realize that they are giving the child long term problems and also giving the community problems.  There is not one person that can say that spanking a child does not stop the immediate misbehavior.  The child learns that when he/she acts bad or misbehaves then he/she gets spanked.  We are setting up kids to say in a negative way that if you do bad behavior, you receive a punishment, you receive bad behavior because of bad behavior instead of made to understand that the behavior was unacceptable and why the behavior was unacceptable. We are saying that negative gives you negative, but what if kids become bullies because they never broke out of the chain cycle of bad behavior equals spanking.  Thus were left hanging waiting on a spanking to confirm that their behavior was bad.

            Bullies have peer groups that cheer them on and think what they do is cute.  The bully’s bad behavior is reinforced and since there is no spanking, what is a youth left to do but think that perhaps the behavior is acceptable and not bad. After all if the bully’s behavior was bad the bully would have been spanked.  Do we program children to expect something negative like a spanking that will bring a quick relief and temporarily stop bad behavior?

            Per the textbook, The Developing Person by Kathleen Stassen Berger page 281, kids that are spanked are “less likely to advance cognitively.”  Therefore bullies are not able to realize that their behavior is bad.  We have all heard adults ask a bully after their actions “what were you thinking?’ The answer is that they were not thinking because they did not finish developing cognitively when they were spanked to solve the immediate inappropriate behavior instead of talked to about their inappropriate behavior.

            Parents and caretakers often think that a little spanking will not hurt. Many adults have said that spanking is ok because that’s what a kids behind was made for.  Going on the theory that a kids behind was made for spanking then a child’s brain was made to develop cognitively and that spanking “quick fix” is going to stop cognitive development in a child which is going to bring more headaches and problems later on that a spanking is not going to be able to fix.

            Please understand that I am not justifying the behaviors of bullies.  To solve the problem of bullies that have led some bully victims to commit suicide we have to understand what the heck is going on in that brain of the bully.  What is going on in that brain is that because of spanking the brain stopped developing just when the most important thing was going to be learned ….. understanding.

            When we have a teenager or adult that is a bully it is not the time to sit down and talk to them because it’s a bit late for talking. The bully has been programed to get that spanking if they had bad behavior and whether that expected reaction of bad behavior is in the conscious or subconscious, it’s left the bully waiting to confirm bad behavior. The commercials, the school wide attention to bullying have not helped because those are all forms of wanting to talk to the bully to change their ways. The commercials and school wide attention are appealing to the bully’s sense of understanding and learning.  How can someone be talked to change their ways when they are not fully capable of understanding and learning new behavior because they may not have fully develop cognitively.  Instead of talking to the bully we need to DEPROGRAM the bully of expecting a spanking for bad behavior. Being upfront with the bully and saying that if they were spanked they may not have developed cognitively will bring better results than a commercial or a belated sit down talk.

            Spanking is a quick fix to a busy parent or a busy caretaker. The fact that spanking seems to work is why most adults will not easily stop spanking their kids. “You better stop or I’m going to spank you,” along with words of “get over here or I’m going to spank you,” are words that are repeated generation after generation in just about every income level and household. Of course who could forget those words heard in a grocery store or at a social event when an adult does not want to be embarrassed “do you want me to spank you?”  I’d like to see some kid answer that with “yes I want you to spank me right here on my behind and stop my cognitive development.”

             I’m taking a college class and we were assigned to write a paper on a choice of topics. I want to share with you a paper that I wrote. The “habits” section was a topic that I decided to write about because the best person to start with on a topic is “me.” The “habits” topic reminds me about me therefore it is the topic that I will be writing about. 
            Habits are difficult to break especially when having become accustomed. Not have to worry about exercising or put exercising into a daily or weekly schedule is ideal. It’s ideal not for my health but it is ideal for my lack of attention to the importance of exercise and fits right into the “oh I’ll be alright after all am I really gaining weight or have I started putting the clothes in the dryer too long. After all the shorts are from Walmart and we all hear stories that Walmart clothes tend to shrink in the clothes dryer.”
            Unfortunately I had answers for just about anything that would give me a hint that it was time to exercise. The weight scale also brought quick answers for denial. I can’t decide if my best answer was that the scale was from Target store and only cost $9.99 therefore how can a scale that cost only $9.99 be correct. The other good answer and probably the funniest is that the scale was incorrect because my body is “lots of muscle.” A theory that I found incorrect yet sounded good and made me feel good to justify my weight.
            Reading the pages on “habits” made me realize that I had made an excellent choice in deciding to join the gym at 24 Hour Fitness. I am on a very tight budget with limited income and sometimes found that saying to myself  “how can I afford to go to 24 Hour Fitness” usually put off any plans to join. However one day a lady talking to a group of people said “take this time to do something with yourself, join an exercise class or take a class.”  I accepted that I could be a better person, I accepted that I had gained weight and called 24 Hour Fitness. To my amazement I was received with much care. The employee told me that a special would be coming up that would only cost $24.99 a month. When the special went into effect I joined 24 Hour Fitness. I enjoy exercising because it is not only good for me physically but emotionally as well. Exercising gets the body in shape but also helps relieve anger and frustration.
            The exercises equipment has become very modern. One of my favorite things to do when I exercise is to see how many calories I burn or how my heart rate is affected on the exercise bike, treadmill or stair stepper. When I see these numbers it’s self-rewarding to acknowledge that I am taking steps to improve my health. I am doing something about my situation of being overweight. I am taking control of the situation instead of ignoring the situation.
            I read in the habits section that there are various reasons for weight gain. Weight gain can be as many of us have always blamed genetic or having too much body fat by a certain age that the body becomes accustomed to that body fat number. We cannot change the past but we can deal with and change the future. I think that one of the hardest things for people to accept is “I am responsible for me and my outcomes.” The denial has led to obesity in the United States to the point where 66% percent of the population is overweight. That’s more than half of the people in the United States and a big percentage of people living in denial that something is wrong in their lifestyle. When people decide to accept the future that if continue lifestyle in current course then will be contributing own bad health and being overweight. Denial is another way of saying “I do not want to be the best that I can be, I don’t care.”  
            If a person throws themselves in the middle of the street on the floor and says “I don’t care, if cars come and run over me.”  The standard reaction would be to pull the person off the street to avoid a car running over them. With much focus recently put on proper eating habits and the new design of the Food Pyramid, people are showing that they care. Destructive behavior can eventually kill a person. Overeating and being overweight are considered self-destructive behavior and can kill a person. To hear that over eating is self-destructive behavior is taking lightly. However when we see the numbers that 66% of the United States is overweight we have to analyze and come up with a solution. Self-destructive behavior has various reasons for existing, perhaps denial of such self-destructive behavior and lying in the subconscious. For example a person might think subconsciously or consciously and say “I was rude today for no reason therefore I will punish myself my eating a big mac, jumbo fries and large shake.” A large number of calories are consumed in one sitting when a person eats a big mac, jumbo fries and large shake. If this type of behavior continues eventually self-destructive behavior will take over a persons life and the reality of consequences for self-destructive behavior ignored.

                For eight years I worked in the hotel industry making one hotel reservation after another, and I was one of the top employees. I had a part-time second job at Foley’s / Macy’s because I enjoyed the job AND the employee discount was fantastic. I loved the department store employee discount that was 25% off plus we were allowed to use coupons AND the store would give us employee appreciation days with an extra 15% or 25%. I was in retail heaven because I could buy buy and buy all at 50% employee discount.  Eventually I decided that working one job at the hotel industry was enough.  Nothing last forever and after eight years lost my job at the hotel industry (it was definitely time for  a change). When I got a new job I must have cleaned out my closets at least a dozen times looking for plain black casual pants. I searched the drawers and found none. Therefore I called Dress for Success in San Antonio, Texas and explained to them that I had found a new job but had no casual black pants, could they help me. Immediately I was greeted with much love and patience at my appointment. I tried on several pairs of pants and found a couple of pairs that fit. Then the lady that helped me asked if I had flat shoes which is something that I had not thought about, so I answered no. The most comfortable pair of flat shoes that were almost new were given to me. An awesome first experience for someone that had just lost their job, turned just about every drawer in her apartment upside down in search of a casual pair of black pants.

                I had the opportunity to go back to school in Austin, Texas therefore I moved to Austin and was living with my sister. When it came time to start looking for a job, since my clothes were slightly different for the casual Austin atmosphere, someone suggested Dress for Success in Austin, Texas. It was October 2009 when I first went to Dress for Success PWG in Austin, Texas. I was not into wearing a suit, yes I had blazers and bottoms that could be matched for when we had a hotel visit where I worked. However wearing a complete suit was not something that I was into. Putting me into wearing a suit was a challenge especially since I had found much work success not having to wear a suit.  However Judy told me something that has stayed with me to this day. Judy said “wearing a suit makes you look all put together so that people will believe in you and believe what you say.” BAM those words brought back memories of “hey I’ve always done good at work however the deciding factor was that I was dressed yes in a blazer and bottom however the other person was wearing a suit.” Despite the other person being a total idiot unable to do her job, she was believed because she was wearing a suit. 

                Dress for Success was one of the best things that happened in my life. I attended the PWG Professional Women’s Group monthly meetings where I learned much. However due to a busier schedule that does not allow for much, I decided to say “thank you and good-bye” to Dress for Success. My last meeting that I attended was January 2013.

                The Dress for Success in Austin, Texas is located at 701 Tillery street and is a modest building with hopes of doing much good. The administrative staff of Dress for Success consist of good hearted Christian women that believe in giving back to the community. However just like the signs of the times change so do the needs of the women change and that includes the mental needs of the women clientele that Dress for Success serves.

                Originally Dress for Success was intended to help the economically disadvantaged women get back on their feet with the help of a suit and job seeking/job obtaining skills. However due to the signs of the times, Dress for Success not only serves women that have lost their job and getting back into the workforce but also helps many homeless females that were once out on the street. Per psychologist many homeless people suffer not only from being homeless but also suffer from mental problems obtained from being homeless.  Being homeless is not a crime or problem, being homeless is not a bad thing or a problem … it’s the mental problems that develop and are unattended that is a problem. Some of the mental problems that many homeless females suffer from are schizophrenia, bipolar, paranoia, anxiety. If the homeless woman had children with her while being homeless it is possible that the child too will have developed mental problems and if unattended the child can be detrimental to a school environment.

                In the past when a woman was unemployed a simple change of clothing habits and good job skills would have been sufficient. However due to the change of the times the same change of clothing habits and job skills would actually hurt not only the homeless woman being put into the workplace but would also hurt the entire workplace and company. Good employees along with company attitude might be lost at the workplace the homeless female has infiltrated. Being fit to enter the workplace for the homeless female not only entails looking good and knowing what to say to get the job but also entails obtaining the proper psychological counseling. Women that are not mentally fit are easier to use and be exploited.
http://youtu.be/5YZGyjYKRgQ

            Let me start off saying that since day one I have been campaigning for President Obama. From the beginning of standing in line to hear him speak in San Antonio on the West Side of town to the 2012  election of campaigning for Obama. I love President Obama and believe in him therefore understand that no disrespect is intended for him in this blog posting of mine.

            Big arguments and debates going on right now because one side wants “tighter gun control” and other side says no. Piers Morgan was recently threatened with having a petition made against him to have him deported. Protest have been seen all across the United States of America. Politicians and even the President seem to think that “tighter gun control” will stop all the crazies from getting ahold of a gun and causing destruction. Many argue with good reason that we should not only check for background criminal records and criminal history but also check to see if persons been in a mental hospital …. the next step is check to see if persons have been on any mental health medications. However what we are ignoring the most and fail to realize is that most of the crazies that caused the destruction did not buy their own gun! Guns are not sold to crazy people!

            Tighter gun control is not the answer to stopping all these crazies from committing destructive behavior. The answer to stopping all the crazies from destructive behavior is to give them a touch of their own medicine! They go into a school and they get a surprise because teacher is carrying a gun so BAM. They go into a theater and get a surprise because the theater manager on duty along with two other people in the theater are carrying a gun, so BAM.

            No one wants our society to  be a “wild west” society. However we have to accept the facts and realize that because of past incidents, folks have to carry a gun for self defense. All the security in the world, all the metal detectors will not stop a crazy person from causing destructive behavior. What will stop a crazy causing destructive behavior and shooting folks is for someone to shoot the crazy back!!!!

Words are comfortless for an empty feeling but know you are cared about. Nancy Morales

            December 14, 2012 when most folks are getting ready for the kids to be at home more for the holidays, parents were faced with a tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut. Unfortunately the tragedy not only affects the small quite town of Newtown, Connecticut but affects people in every city all over the world. Gunman went into school and started shooting, the results 27 people dead with 20 of those kids.

            Tougher gun control cannot guarantee that a person will not go into a school and start shooting. Tougher gun control can HELP prevent a tragedy because sadly a person determined to get their hands on guns to create a tragedy will get their hands on guns. Therefore we must learn to accept the problem of a potential madman or manwoman with a gun … we learn to accept the problem and deal with the problem. The solution is PREVENTION and MINIMILIZATION.

            What do most parents, aunts, uncles, etc want when their kids, nieces, etc are in school? Safety and a good education! Unfortunately we have come to a time when gun control can no longer make any guarantees. We are left with two solutions to the problem of a potential madman/manwoman with a gun at school. One solution is for teachers to carry guns and second is for unknown about metal detectors with silent alarms at every school building entrance.  

                Lots of concerns about the Mayan calander ending December 21, 2012 that's before Christmas. For years scientist, researchers, the military etc have been doing research to find out if in fact the Mayan calendar ends December 2012. Will doomsday fall upon our generation and if so what do we do ? Most people ask a simply question “do I buy Christmas gifts and if I do buy Christmas gifts what happens if December 25, 2012 does not come.”

                I have some input .. .. the Mayan calender is identical to the Hindu calender, they both end at the same time .. We could look at  it as the "end of the world" because end of the calender writing OR we could look at it as the beginning of the new calender written .. PERHAPS the Mayans and the Hindu wrote the calender for us to a point then we would write the calender for us .. AN ANALOGY IS you get your child a bicycle with training wheels to learn to ride the bicycle then when the child can ride the bicycle you take off the training wheels.

                It’s not going to be the end of the world, however keep in mind the bicycle analogy .. when the training wheels go off the bicycle SOMETIMES  the kid falls down at first. Therefore I suggest keep close to family, friends, etc and help each other. Having an emergency plan is always a good idea. It’s not the end of the world, it’s the beginning of something and that is us learning to make our own calendar.

               

            I saw someone order a cheeseburger with EXTRA fried jalapenos and I thought “wow he can do that”.  The key words are “he can do that” that person has made a choice for himself and decided that he wanted extra fried jalapenos on his cheeseburger.  Regardless if I know that jalapenos will burn the butty hole, I have to respect what the person in front of me said, and he said “I WANT extra fried jalapenos in MY cheeseburger.”  We are fortunate to be individuals that have Freedom of Choice. Yet many problems and even many wars occur because of the need to control the Freedom of Choice of others.

          Four simple words that are easy to pronounce in the English language yet four words that some people refuse to acknowledge and respect.  In the Middle East Palestine was about to reach a much needed “live and let live” attitude with Israel when someone decided  “NO,  that  is not what I want.”  The most interesting facts are that people that instigate wars and are not for co-existence have yet to see the dead bodies or have to endure running to a bomb shelter if available when bombs, missiles start going off.

          Respecting the wishes of others, respecting the words of others and acknowledging that we have no authority to control and manipulate anyone but our own self would decrease problems for ourselves and others 80%.  The “Live and Let Live” attitude does not discriminate and can be seen in young children when one child says they want to be a spaghetti bowl for Halloween costume and then you hear someone immediately go off saying “oh a spaghetti bowl for Halloween costume, that’s stupid.”